a dream that i lived

it's a dark  stormy stubborn night

look like darkness eats the bright

star are hidden behind curtain of cloud

thunders are roaring high & loud 

everyone else in world seems fast asleep 

but 

a pair of eye still awake

distant from his owns

lying with unknowns

he jus don't know 

why his luck changes its tone

he feel like crying 

why me was the question

he was trying

he think that he was punished

for a crime he never commit

he was here for no reason

&  never released from this prison

he thinks that he never survive

its the end of his life 

thoughts continue to flow

& then slowly he sleep

------------------------------------------------------

the night passed & the day begins

he now started to like things

he found that it is not so bad

& he suddenly forget that he was sad

slowly stranger became familiar & then friends

his happiness has jus started to extend

he never know when they come so near

but now there is more love and less fear

the whole place which was prison before 

now become his life shore

priorities of his life was changed 

he is now more arranged

slowly & steadily

he become a part of it

he thinks without it he can't exist

time passes as the wind blow

in a slow rhythm it jus flow

he now forgot his first night

& busy in new sights

he lived as that night was jus a dream

but its not like as it seem

----------------------------------------------------

an early,chilly,spring morning

first rays of sun jus hit the horizon

the world looks calm and quite

but something is not right

jus like the first night 

a pair of eyes still awake

his eyes are red as the rising sun

may be its the heat of last night fun

today is the last day and he is sad

he feel like loosing everything,

and yes,its true,he is left with nothing

only remain is what his memory retain

suddenly he remember his first night

and the time when he hate this place 

his dislike and his disgrace

he feel a shiver down his spine

and he feels it for the first time

he feels that's he rise after a long sleep

he remember the first night,like the last one

and then he feel 

all the years he spend here is jus like a dream

they come and go so fast 

he awake after years, to feel the destiny

the destiny of a dream

that is nothing but to break in morning

he smile and he mumble 

good bye my life,my dream 

i never had you again in this life 

but i can assure you a thing 

i will never forget 

a dream that i lived

i can only smile

she climbs the steps of the tample

fresh as morning dew

full of devotion

she looked at me as if i am a waste

but suddenly the same eyes

filled with kindness

she throws a coin to me

and thinks i will be happy 

but she doesn't know 

what i need exactly 

sky is in her favour and thus she shines

i am the regreted one,i only smile

he emerge as victorious

and get everones praise

i the last one 

i get nothing but disgrace

he discard me

and thought that i am of no use

but he doesn't know

where he will be 

if i wasn't reduce 

he is the chosen one ,he mesmerize

i,the loathsome, i only smile

you are the light,you win everytime

but i am dark & i never resign

you are meant to shine & thus you shine

all i meant to do is to keep trying

you are bright and thus you fertile

i, the char, i only smile

kuch khash...

Tu dur ankho se sahi,is dil ke bahut pas hai

                                 

         teri dosti kuch khas hai

                                                        

Tere bina ye jindgi,viran to ab bhi nahi

                                                        

yado ke manjar hi sahi,hai band palko me kahi

                                                                            

aj bhi in galon pe tere chuan ka ehsas hai

                                 

         teri dosti kuch khas hai

                                                              

Hai band panno me kahin,jane kitni bate ankahi

kah pate kash tumse hum,jo kah na paye hum kabhi

kyon aj bhi in ankho ko,tere lotne ki aas hai

          teri dosti kuch khas hai

 

written by a  friend :) 

whenever ...

no matter how hard i try

no matter how much i lie

 i know

it is of no use

i am in love with you again

the moment i see you

every time when you disappear

i decide not to think about you

but even at the time of decision 

i am thinking about you

i know

it is of no use

i remember you again

whenever i try to forget you

you never belonged to me

and i think you  never will

i cann't even deny that

we never ever share a future 

but i know

these thought are of no use

i crave you again

whenever i have a option of you

a eVer aFter oR a oNce uPon

the story begins with a "once upon a time"

twists and turns included

everything turning to bad & then worse

but suddenly a ray of hope rise

a "good" came  up 

and improves the situation

the "evil" is too strong

but the "good" still beats him

and story ends with a "happily ever after"

but this ending leaves a lot of question

is it the end of "evil"

is "good" is a "good" in reality

or just the opposite of "evil" 

isn't "evil" and "good" are just two faces of a coin

what is a "good" is jus a opinion

or you can say a illusion

change your approch and everything changes

cause a "happily ever after" is nothing

but a start to another "once upon a time"

and thats the hidden motive of every stroy

which is never deemed

HAVE YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE

Have you lived your life?

You haven't lived life yet if you haven't-

- Had a day which you wished never ended

- Fallen in love

- Lost love

- Lost a loved one

- Found love - in someone who can't be yours and whom you can't belong to

- Wrote a stupid poem which you never dared show anyone, but still own, read and laugh out loud

- Made a fool of yourself in a crowd

- had your moments of fame

- Gotten drenched in the rain, out of choice

- Laughed till you had tears in your eyes

- Kissed till you went breathless

- Been in a helpless, hopeless situation with no one to help you, but yourself

- Travelled alone

- Held a new born baby

- Held a wrinkled hand

- Cried for someone you didn't know

- Been happy for someone you didn't know

- Brought a smile on the face of someone you didn't know

- Felt envious

- Felt regret

- Felt hatred

- Been selfish, even if it means something as simple as keeping the creamiest part of the cake for yourself

- Danced in abandon

- Gotten drunk

- Watched a sunrise on a beach

- Watched a sunset on a beach

- Watched a full moon and thought of someone you love

- Been scared out of your wits

- WISHED YOU WERE DEAD

Well, I haven't lived my life yet...have you?

nOt sURe

grief jealousy  hatred

this is all left in me

who place the seed  

me or you

i am not sure

at the point of no turning back

i don't even remember the start

who incite it

me or you 

i am not sure

everything i am now

thnak you for making me that

who will regret the decision

me or you 

i am not sure

if you look around me 

everything is so hazy 

who ruined the view

me or you 

i am not sure

i know only one will survive

but in this game 

who is the fittest

me or you 

i am not sure

thE miRagE

somewhere 

here or there 

far or near 

i dont know where

but somewhere

revolving around it 

i sense it clear

but it sense me too

and dont know why 

but it disappear

jus like tear 

emerge from me 

but i cant see it clear

it seems near 

but it never appear

i know 

it is pushing me rear

but  i dont have  fear

its the mirage of my life 

that is so dear

what is happiness to you

a sweet smile on your face 

a little mischief in your eyes

diffrent expressions 

no explanations

watching you 

when u are unaware of me

for me...

this is happiness

a piece of chocolate with u 

a little light fight with u  

innocent excuses

sweet lies & tries

wake up in morning 

with ur dream at night 

for me...

this is happiness

you never know this feeling

even if you know

u will not understand it 

for you 

it will always be a joke 

but  

for me ...

this is happiness

can i say sumthin

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos

It's stupid to just sit here and admire that little red haired girl from a distance. It's stupid not to get up and go over and talk to her..

It's really stupid! It's just plain stupid; so why I don't I go over and talk to her? 

Because I'm stupid.

sometimes i lie awake at night and i ask,"is it all worth it?"

then a voice says,"who are you talking to?"

then another voice says,"you mean,'to whom are you talking?'"

no wonder i lie awake at night!......

i guess i must be wrong, for back where i come from, i am not famous for doing things right..

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm Happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?."

That's the secret to life . . . replace one worry with another

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Hapiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you.

If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably am the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak.

There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters . . . I could be their leader.

No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from

waiting & waiting

i m keep on throwing dice
waiting for my turn
but like a biased coin
it  never comes

in this world everyone  say

everyone believe
even dog has its day

 i am afraid...
when it will be mine

the game i play is so unfair
the snake is  at every end of ladder

whatever i do 

it simply doesn't matter

i have to fall on 0 from 99

I M SO TIRED

i m being tired of pretending myself

faking myself again and again

killing the real one inside me

and being the person i don't like

i m being tired of careing others

tired of faking my smile

even when i don't have a reason

tired of behaving nice 

when i am feeling awkward

i m being tired of this world

where no one understand me

and i don't understand anyone

where everyone is sweet at your face 

but behind ,they don't even care 

i m being tired of everything around  

jus like a blackhole 

doesn't allow anything to come out

jus like walking in circles

moving but getting nowhere

i m being tired of myself

who knows his limit 

still always tries to cross the barrier

who know he never get what he wanted

but still his hope never dies 

I DON'T KNOW

i don't know ...well have u imagine a day when u r not using this line.perhaps one of the most used in everyday life .do u ever think why u use this sentence ????...well let me guess ur answer.....u don't know...well that itself signify this almighty line.it is the question whose answer is the question itself.

prbbly in 7th or 8th class......siting in second row ...i was dreaming about something ....i dont really remember what i was dreaming about...but i think it must be something very importent [:D]....suddenly a voice called my name[damn teachersssss]...well rajat ..can you tell about devlopement in time of gupt kingdom [double damn]....i stand up and utterd four word ..i dont know sir....after that  answer again a history was created,that i dont want to discuss[i think if i m one of chol or gupt i may get a page in the history book]

this time i actually fell in love with a girl[:)].....my so called good friends know about it[dont know how]... and they started to tease me ..[:|]

friends:so who is this girl ??

me:what girl??

friends:jus tell us

me:i dont know

friends:cmon what do you mean by you dont know?

me : yaar ! i dont know means i just dont know?

friends:look we r ur friends ..u can tell us ...we want to help

me:i dont know 

friends:u dont know what...u dont cosider us as ur good friends...or u dont want to tell about this girl

me: no ...i mean yes....i mean ...i dont know

friends:u r so disgusting ..@#$#%$%$..what u think u r

me:i dont know

friends:ok do whatever u wanted to do

...huh..gud friends ..gud for nothing...thnk god this "i don't know "save me

I just wish people had those special sensory cells to grasp the meaning of our circumstantial DONT KNOW's.afterall not every time we r supposed to tell everything we know ,to others....this phrase then jus provide a excuse or simply a path for escape.

now if u r scraching ur head to find an answer or  if you are pissed off over the sensitive issue i choosed to write....you might anticipate what am i going to say next .  so dont even think about questioning ! [:D]

story of a loser.....

once there was a boy named sparky

For,Sparky, school was all but impossible. He failed every subject in the

eighth grade. He flunked physics in high school, getting a grade of

zero.

Sparky also flunked Latin, algebra, and English. He didn't do much better in sports. Although he did manage to make the school's golf team, he promptly lost the only important match of the season. There

was a consolation match; he lost that too.

Throughout his youth,Sparky was awkward, socially. He was not actually disliked by the other students; no one cared that much. He was astonished if a classmate ever

said hello to him outside of school hours.

There's no way to tell how he might have done at dating. Sparky never once asked a girl to go

out in high school. He was too afraid of being turned down.

Sparky was a loser. He, his classmates...everyone knew it. So he rolled with it. Sparky had made up his mind early in life that if things were meant to work out they would. Otherwise, he would content himself with what

appeared to be his inevitable mediocrity.

However, one thing was important to Sparky -- drawing. He was proud of his artwork. Of course,no one else appreciated it. In his senior year of high school, he submitted some cartoons to the editors of the yearbook. The cartoons

were turned down. Despite this particular rejection, Sparky was so

convinced of his ability that he decided to become a professional

artist.

After completing high school, he wrote a letter to Walt

Disney Studios. He was told to send some samples of his artwork, and

the subject for a cartoon was suggested. Sparky drew the proposed

cartoon. He spent a great deal of time on it and on all the other

drawings he submitted. Finally, the reply came from Disney Studios. He

had been rejected once again. Another loss for the loser.

So Sparky decided to write his own autobiography in cartoons. He described his

childhood self -- a little boy loser and chronic underachiever.

The cartoon character would soon become famous worldwide. For Sparky, the

boy who had such lack of success in school and whose work was rejected

again and again, was Charles Schulz.

He created the "Peanuts" comic

strip and the little cartoon character whose kite would never fly and

who never succeeded in kicking a football -- Charlie Brown

i hate you

it is hard to believe
but its true
now i find it
i hate you

it took a lot of time
to decide
but after the answer
i think its rite

i tried to love you
tried even to fake
but no
it is a dream
& i jus awake

there is nothing in there
for us to stay
now its become a trap
better to leave it & wrap

you & i are now not us
the relation has jus lost its trust
we have no option but to leave
& this is what you should believe

may be i m wrong
may be i am commiting a mistake
even then i think it's needed
cause doing a mistake is better
then living with one

alone

And again
i was left alone

it is not the first time & not even the last
i m a fool not learning from my past
there is no place for me anywhere
i have no option but to disappear

why i still have a drop of hope
that i may cope
that i may not choke

why not i realize
better be wise
that it may never happen
a state that i never attain

but now i m comfartable with it
i dont want to find an exit
may be lonliness himself felt alone
& choses me as his only known

i enjoy the feeling
itself reaviling
that i have a friend
inside me
that doesnt follow the trend
& doesnt leave me bend
i have him even when i don't have anyone
& thats what i wanted in return

subtitle

sumtimes when i dont know
what is going on
sumtimes when i dont know
am i me
or sumone else clone
i jus wish life had subtitle
if i understand it
it would be more vital

sumtimes when life leaves no escape
all i can do is to luk & wait
sumtimes when i loose what i deserve
i try my best
still i get the reverse
i jus wish life had subtitle
if i understand it
it would be more vital

sumtimes when i feel sad
mising sumthing
dont know reason why
sumtimes when unwilingly
i have to say goodbye
i jus wish life had subtitle
if i understand it
it would be more vital

shadow of stranger

i don't know who she was
i don't know about future and past
but i do know
i was changed
when i saw a stranger
it just began

it was just like a magic
no regret,no fear,not tragic
jus like feather on wind
she came & disappear in a blink
i don't know where she gone
but i do know
i was changed
when i saw a stranger
it just began

now when she is gone
i m feeling quite alone
only shadow of her remain
she live only in my remeberence
i don't know when it last
but i do know
i was changed
when i saw a stranger
it just began

a pray to god

last night wandering in my thought
feeling awkward
loosing a battle hard fought
i jus think of a solution
why not pray to god
& let all my problem destroyed
so i started to pray
but soon realize that it may never end
cause desire r jus like a rubber band
if u fullfill them..they jus extand

i think
what will i get
when my desire r fed

i will be happy

i think again
r people, not capable of dreaming ,not happy

yes they r

then where s the problem

its when u c a dream
& dont complete it

thoughts clash
&
i got my answer
& i jus pray
either fullfill my desire
or cease my fire
so that i can't c a dream
both case i will be happy indeed
& thats what,in life, one need


note- - - - i think answer to my pray is still awaited

u know....

u know........

every time i met u ,every time i talk to u

u luk always new

the way u smile,the way u act

i never no how u gonna react

sumtimes i wonder

did i kno u or its jus an illusion

jus a state of confusion

but i dont want to find an exit

cause not every problm need a solution

u know........

u r jus like my dreams

undefined yet full of mean

unaprochable yet a sheen

unexpected but very likely

unreal but better then reality

sumtimes i wonder

r u my dream or its jus a convolution

jus like a interpretation

but i dont want to find an exit

cause not every problm need a solution